


Where You Are Is Where I Am

by edenbound



Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-15 12:00:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28938147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/edenbound/pseuds/edenbound
Summary: "I need your help," he'd said. Ellone had looked at him with a mild smile, her hands folded neatly in her lap."I'll do whatever I can, Squall," she said. "Tell me what you need."
Relationships: Seifer Almasy/Squall Leonhart
Comments: 7
Kudos: 36





	Where You Are Is Where I Am

**Author's Note:**

> I've followed (canon script conventions) for denoting unvoiced thoughts.

There's a moment of familiar dislocation; he can see, but the eyes don't belong to him, they don't move to his commands. His hand is not his hand -- smaller, bare of any glove, and pressed up against the glass of a window.

* * *

"I need your help," he'd said. Ellone had looked at him with a mild smile, her hands folded neatly in her lap.

"I'll do whatever I can, Squall," she said. "Tell me what you need."

"I need you to send me back again. In Seifer's head, this time."

She frowned a little. Squall knew -- half-knew -- that that was the way she had always frowned, the little furrow between her brows; he half-remembered her making that same face when they asked her for a story, another story, just one more story before bed. "In Seifer's head?"

"Yes. There's something I need to know."

* * *

The dislocation is familiar, and it's worse because of that small hand pressed up against the glass. He can see the reflection of the body he's briefly co-inhabiting, against rain-smeared glass: the blond hair and the smudge of a half-familiar face.

"Squall," he -- Seifer -- whispers. It's odd all over again to see his mouth move in the reflection.

"We should tell Matron," Quistis says. "She'll tell him to come inside."

"Shut up, Quisty," Seifer says. Squall realises -- should have realised before -- that the shape he can see outside, huddled up in the rain, is himself. "He'll come in when he's ready."

And then the thought comes on its heels: (And I'll be here when he does.)

And he was. Squall remembers that.

* * *

"Too far back," he says, when he swims back to consciousness in his own body. Ellone is watching him, and he can't tell what she's thinking.

"It's difficult to make a connection with him. It's long since I... That was after I left," she says. "Did you..."

Squall waits. The question doesn't come. Ellone sighs and tucks her hair behind her ears, then clasps her hands in her lap again. 

"Are you ready?"

A nod, and the blackness rushes over him.

* * *

"I don't know if we can trust you with this responsibility," Cid says. He tilts his chin up, meeting Seifer's eyes. "You're often too impulsive, and you don't have much patience with anyone of less ability than yourself. But I do see potential in you, Seifer. I'd like to see you become a gunblade master here in Garden. What I need is for you to stop this silly rivalry with Squall -- "

"It's not -- "

Cid raises a hand. "I wasn't finished, Seifer. I agree with your suggestion about Garden needing some kind of disciplinary committee, and I agree that you command enough respect to be effective. I'd rather see the students govern themselves through initiatives like this than rely so heavily on the Garden faculty. So I give you permission, but if I hear even a whisper about bullying, or unauthorised duelling, there's going to be a problem."

(It's not my fault people are idiots,) Seifer thinks, but what he says is, "Yes, sir."

Cid looks at him for a moment and then nods. "Then please do go ahead and form your committee. And Seifer?"

Seifer pauses as he's turning for the door, raising an eyebrow. There's a sort of twinkle in Cid's eye.

"If you and Squall want to practice, you should find somewhere private to do it, alright? Where no one can misinterpret what's happening. Many of the students aren't used to fighting on your level. You're both very capable in battle."

"Yes, sir," Seifer says. Squall feels the way his mouth pulls into a smirk.

* * *

"Still too far back," Squall says, sitting up. His head aches a little, and Ellone looks tired. "We can't stop now."

She looks at him for a moment and then nods. "One more try. You... might want to lie down, first."

Squall doesn't move. She sighs, but a smile teases at the corner of her mouth, something fond and warm. And then the darkness comes again.

* * *

It's strange, inhabiting Seifer's body beside him when he fights. He moves in a wholly different way to Squall -- lighter on his feet, quicker to advance and retreat. Sharing his body like this, Squall understands a little more about how he fights, thinks of how he could slip beneath this guard or smash aside that swift blade from the side that has caught him out more than once in the past. Seifer's thoughts race past, a litany of openings and critical blows, nothing on Seifer's mind but the fight.

Almost nothing. (It'd be better if I could fight _him_ right now,) he thinks as he disarms one of his opponents with a quick flick of his blade. (Gotta get some more practice in.)

And -- there, he's in under the guard of the other student, pushing them back and disarming them again.

* * *

Ellone takes him straight into the next memory, flickers through them like she's rifling through the pages of Seifer's life. Squall sees himself flick by -- Fujin and Raijin -- an exam -- himself again -- some kind of class, and Seifer is laughing with someone at his side who Squall can't see -- and then it's himself again and again, running through Seifer's life like a thread through cloth, as Seifer has run through _his_ life, and then --

* * *

Normally, the connection feels at a remove. This time -- this time Squall is dropped into a maelstrom of searing feeling. A want that can't be assuaged by having, a greedy near-worship -- Seifer's eyes are closed, and it makes the moment all the more intense. 

He can feel Seifer's body moving, and some sense of the body under his, the hands gripping him and the mouth that meets Seifer's kiss for kiss, bite for bite, gasp for gasp. Squall doesn't need him to open his eyes.

Fingers dig into his -- Seifer's -- skin, and there's a desperate noise, stifled against Seifer's palm. "I know," Seifer says, ragged and torn from him. "I know, Squall, I -- "

* * *

He jars awake with Ellone's shocked, wordless thought ringing through his head. "I didn't know," she says, her hand halfway to her mouth.

"Most people didn't," Squall says. He's shaken, thrown by the near-violence of feeling he was just dropped into. "People only saw what they expected to see."

"Can you tell me? About him?" 

Squall shakes his head. "I need to go back. I need to... understand." 

She rubs at her forehead for a moment, and then nods. "One more try, Squall."

* * *

He's found himself inhabiting Seifer's body a dozen times now, but this time is stranger. The feeling of dislocation has doubled, like he's seeing Seifer's hand and the gunblade in it from a second remove.

"You kan do better," Ultimecia tells him. Her voice is oddly gentle, insinuating, and Squall's skin crawls. Her words echo inside of Seifer's head, and Squall watches his hand tighten on his gunblade. He feels the aches and pains in Seifer's body as he rises.

(Don't make me,) Seifer says, but he can't form the words. He can't say it aloud. Squall feels the pressure of Ultimecia's will as she makes Seifer bow before her, and he can feel Seifer's ripple of exhausted despair, can almost taste the shame. (Don't make me fight him. I wanted to be a knight, not this. Not like this.)

"You kan do much better," Ultimecia says. "Or you know what I'll do to them. All of them. But I'll leave him till last... and then tear him apart. I know how you feel about him." 

(No.)

"You kan't say no to me now," she says -- just as if he'd said it out loud. "You kan't say no to me anymore. If you bring me the girl, I'll spare him. I'll spare your friends."

(I won't let you do this. If I take him down, let it be a fair fight, at least.)

Her laughter slices through Seifer like ice. "You don't have a choice."

It's unbearable. Squall focuses, tries to drive the thought into Seifer like a blade, through his guard and through the gap of time and place. (Seifer... I won't let her do this to you. Just hold on. I'm coming.)

The shock rings through him like a struck bell. (Squall?)

(I'm coming,) Squall says, not sure if Seifer can really hear him, trying to force the words through the connection even as he feels it wavering. The edges are already fraying --

(I'll be here.)

* * *

When he wakes, Squall doesn't move for a moment. He puts his forearm over his eyes. After a moment, Ellone's cool hand touches his. "What will you do now?"

He pushes himself to sit. "I'll find him."

"He'll be waiting for you, I think," she says.

"I know."

* * *

His boots scuff on the stone as he crosses the rocky outcrop where they used to fight. For a moment, he thinks Seifer isn't there -- that he's guessed wrong. But there he is, his gunblade resting on his shoulder, his eyes narrowed against the sun. "You're late, Squall."

"Put that down," Squall says. He's not carrying Lionheart. He's not wearing his gloves. He's not ready to fight at all, and he watches Seifer see that.

"So I did hear you," he says. He sets Hyperion down gently. "You were there. You... know."

"I knew all along. Idiot."

Seifer's stripping his gloves off, flinging them down on top of his gunblade, and then one of his bare hands closes around Squall's wrist and the other is touching his face, sliding up into his hair. He brings their foreheads together with a bump.

"I'm here," Squall says, softly, and Seifer closes his eyes. "Now come home."

"Yeah. Okay." His breath puffs out against Squall's cheek in a shaky sigh. "Okay."

**Author's Note:**

> The title is actually borrowed wholesale from Thea Gilmore's [recent song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1ioWdWZQlA) for the Blithe Spirit soundtrack. The lyrics of the song don't quite work, because it's belittling rather than a real partnership... whereas I see Seifer and Squall as very evenly matched. But titles are hard, and this song's stuck in my head.


End file.
